Full House

And so it begins. On January 6th, my new pet, "P", arrived. The previous "P" model had been rejected and forced to live elsewhere due to an insurmountable mismatch of personalities and habits. I'm kind of a morning person, not the most "outgoing", enjoy relaxing weekends, and he was a complete prick. It just wasn't gonna be a match. After assurance that the newer model was without similar defect, and would pay cash money for a now unused room, I finally gave up the "live by myself" lifestyle I had come to know and love to regress to a shared habitat. The first 24 hours were fine, but that seemed to be the maximum amount of time the crazy could be contained.

Me: Can you turn down the TV? It's kinda loud.
P: Yeah. Hey.
Me: What's up?
P: You know Stephanie from Full House? I used to have a crush on her and wrote her a letter. I cried to my mom because she didn't write back.
Me: ...What? That's weird dude.

Yes, just a little "weird", but looking back, it was the canary in the coal mine. Keep in mind that out of 5-10 freaky ass comments, only the appropriate or most random make it here.