Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Ok, ok, a P story

Ive decided that today's post is going to be themed. Phone calls, to be precise. Here are two phone calls I've received in the last couple of days that left me with a general feeling of "Did he really just call me for that?"

This one came in at about midnight on a school night.

Me: Hello?
P: M!
Me: P? You ok?
P: My car! The key is stuck in the ignition!
Me: Ummm, ok. Where are you?
P: At N's house.
Me: What? You're at a house?
P: I don't know what to do!
Me: Call AAA, dude.
P: Yeah, that's what N said to do.
Me: Dude! What do you think I can do that AAA can't?
P: Ummm, yeah, so I'll call them.
Me: Uh, yeah. Seriously, P.
P: BYE!

I was not the only person telling this tale of woe the next day, apparently the cell phone network was all a flutter with P's distress signals, the last of which went to AAA...

Phone call number two....

Me: Bueno.
P: M! It's P!
Me: What's up, P?
P: I can't connect to the internet!
Me: Oh, you at the office? Is it down?
P: No, I'm at home.
Me:...
P: What do I do?!
Me: Figure it out.
P: Listen, listen. M. I can't get to Google.
Me: Dude, just reset or something.
P: I CAN'T GET TO GOOGLE!
Me: I'm eating, P. You'll survive.
P: Fine. Fine. I guess I'll just figure it out or just have no internet.
Me: Martyr much?
P: What?
Me: Nothing, I'll talk to you later.

54 comments:

wj said...

hahahahahah awesome

Sassy Blondie said...

You are my new nomination for sainthood. I think Mother Theresa would kick that guy to the curb.

I love that he panicked about getting to Google! LOLOLOL

Brett said...

Um, was his car still in drive, by any chance?

Krissie said...

Aww, I missed P. lol
Seriously, how DO you manage to take it?! Saint indeed!

The Fresh Cracker said...

More P stories, please! I missed him, too.

Karen said...

The first one sounds like me whenever my car does something I don't understand, only I call my father. "Ring ring...hello?" "Dad, I have a flat tire!" "Um, ok. Did you call -" "What do I do?" "Well I can't help you from here. You'll need to call -" "This has never happened to me before! I don't know how to fix it!" "KAREN. Call f-ing triple A and THEN you can call me and panic!" "Oh, right. [...] do you know their number?" "[Dad's head explodes]"

But I'm not insane like P, I swear.

surfercam said...

What a nutter!

Skynet said...

P's distress signals lol. I think you sould write a book or sale your tragic life story to Hollywood. Your roommate must be from another world, somekind of alien, and he haven't learn yet how to behave like a normal human being lol!

Captain HB said...

hahahaha!!!
more P stories, please!!1 they are so funny ^_^

Anonymous said...

lol hilarious - be more frequent with your postings!

circadia667 said...

EXACTLY - he must be an alien - he is awful sure they exist. that would also make explain why he thinks people would take him if his curtains werent closed. its all beginning to make sense now.

Anonymous said...

You could sooo have your own sitcom! It would be hilarious, especially with your narration. hahaha

Cait said...

I think I'm falling in love with P. Don't tell him though, he'd just hide in his room.

Anonymous said...

P's just on drugs. People act like this everyday, but I still find P's antics effing hilarious!

Jupi said...

dude! is this for real! love this shit! hahaha! I wish I had P for a roommate just for laughs hahaha!

Pumpkin said...

Ok, this must be the quickest addiction to a blog I've ever suffered, infact the speed of said addiction has so impressed me, I just gotta link to you....nice one!!

Nik said...

I just read every single post on your blog. I've never done that before. So you must be doing something right. Keep it up!

rosi said...

this is great stuff. part of what i like about it is not only that P is a weirdo extraordinaire, but that everything you say about him seems to hint of affection. he sounds like the perfect roommate!

grass_sandwiches said...

I just found this by accident and nearly choked on my toast laughing. It reminds me of the one and only time i allowed my friend to live with me, and how very quickly you realise why you will never let anyone ever again! X

sonik said...

googlism is a religion after all =P

Anonymous said...

just found your blog through another site and read the whole thing through...i've been stifling laughs in my office at work. thank you for letting me kill time while being really, really amused.

Erik said...

Dude you got come hot chicks reading your blog. Haummmmmm.

Funky Tuba said...

"Martyr much?"

*snort*

Anonymous said...

dude!!! come on...new post please!
I can't believe 'P' has been quite this whole time.

Segway said...

Hilarious blog - just stumbled on it and gave it a big Thumbs Up.

I wonder if you're able to put up with P because you're an Office fan and he's so Dwight Shrute-esque.

Amazing.

Anonymous said...

"Martyr much?" is my phrase of the week. Hilarious.

Anonymous said...

oh dear brother, look what you have started. so many comments. you're getting proposals. craziness. and why can't P fix his own damn computer considering what he does. i don't understand.

love ya and hopefully see you soon,
T

Pinky McPinkerson said...

"stumbled" here. I have now read every single post and burned so many calories laughing. At one point I had tears streaming down my face and my dog came over to make sure I was ok. She's never seen me laugh like that before.

You must submit your life for a sitcom. I would totally watch!

thanks for the laughs! I'll be back

Smiley said...

Hey, man, without Google, surely we all would perish. ^_^

You have my amused sympathies. I'd rather like to meet this guy. He sounds nice despite the insanity. he's kind of like a pet you're tarining. A psycho, alien-loving, penny 'putting', weird ass pet.

<3

Anonymous said...

I just found this.. omg my mascara is running down my face from laughing so hard. Fucking brilliant

Lizzle said...

Love love love your blog. Who doesn't love a weird mofo in the next room?

Linked to your page, hopefully my people will enjoy as well!

Pro Blog Reviews said...

I just love this blog, they should put you guys on a reality show, I would watch every episode.

brinkofacomplex said...

I would've actually kicked him out after the bike thing.. But I'm glad you didn't; it's hilarious from this end.

Anonymous said...

more posts.
for the win.
the world needs to know the adventures of M and P.
:D

Anonymous said...

i love this blog! more P, please!

Anonymous said...

Goodness, this feels ominous. It's been since July10th and now it's Aug 21st.
WHAT HAPPENED???

redanan@yahoo.com

Nick said...

Awesome blogg!

Are P away on holiday or have you kicked him out!

Rachel said...

I love this site. What's happening with this blog? It's been almost 2 months with no update... Just curious.

Bekki said...

what happened??? all this stuff.. and then it was gone and now you're gone and im sad *pout*

shinzon said...

Your blog is way too hilarious to go THIS LONG without a P story!! Puh-lease post soon, your fans are jonesin!!!!!

Chelsofly! said...

I miss reading the new things P has done :- ( What's up with that?

Tim said...

Wow hillarious

But not updated in a month and a half??? did he kill you or something?

samantha said...

lol I love P!
Please post more frequently!
I got addicted to your site a few weeks ago. It's dangerously hilarious. I laughed like an insane person when I read your posts.
xDDDD

Etai said...

Dude, i read every single post, I love your sense of humor! Thank god for Stumble!

P reminds me of this guy Ryan from my camp but crazier *sigh* (except hes a pervert that scares away woman, not the other way around and is the bad guy, not afraid of them, he always talked about taking over the world)
I always wonder what would happen if he had a roommate in camp. AND IF THAT ROOMMATE WAS P?!?!?!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Anonymous said...

What's new with the P??????

Prissy Krissy said...

Wow..this is the best blog ever...I wish there was more!!

Anonymous said...

More P please!

Anonymous said...

please, please, please, PLEASE update.

I too live with a crazy person and find this especially hilarious/ close to home.

Anonymous said...

You haven't posted in forever...I need some new P antics!!

Anonymous said...

Ahh! What happened to you and P? I adore this blog and read it all in one sitting- in one class period at school. Please post more! I need more laughs! ^_^

Anonymous said...

where are you?? where did you go?

Anonymous said...

hmmm i have a sneaking suspesion that P may have gone alittle crazy with a knife one night.....no more blog! :-/

Anonymous said...

must...have...more...P

Anonymous said...

Damm I miss the P stories... please post something