Monday, June 11, 2007

If she weighs the same as a duck...

As requested by anon, the witchcraft incident...

C: When is his birthday?
Me: Late February, why?
C: I'm gonna try something...

P: Hi! I'm P!
C: Nice to meet you.
P: So you guys know about aliens, right?
C: Aliens?
P: Yes!
C: Ok...did you recently have a change in your life?
P: YES!
C: You're a Pisces, aren't you?
P: HOLY SH**! YOU'RE A WITCH!
C: No, it's a gift.
P: WITCHCRAFT!
C: Wait..calm down, I was kidding, M told me...
P: JESUS!
Me: Dude. Dude! Calm down, she's not a witch, it was a joke...
P: M! I learned about people like her. She can do witchcraft. Be careful!!
Me: * sigh * See I told you.
C: Wow. I thought you were exaggerating.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

AHAHAHAHA.

Oh God, I want to meet him.

Anonymous said...

You know, it is cruel to tease someone who has very little true intellegence.

Keep up the good work.

gillian said...

lmao - i think that guy would actually be hilarious to have around...people who come up with the most randomist of statments, are so entertaining! erm....well maybe not have to LIVE with him, but just hang out with in the pub or something

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog.
I love this.
Roommate tales are the best and you sir have the best BY FAR!
Check....and mate.

-Rhi

Derisible Dame said...

Fuckin' love it.
Reminds me of my old roommate....except he was just naive....randomly naive.

*Me sitting at my computer one day just working on a class project as he walks into my room*
Him: Hey Lily?
Me: Yes?
Him: What's a 'donkey punch'?
Me: What?!
Him: What's a 'donkey punch'?
Me: Why do you ask?
Him: This girl I was talking to at school today told me that she likes to be donkey punched and I don't know what it means...and I didn't want to ask her b/c I didn't want to look stupid....so....can you help me out?
Me: Get out of my room.

Anonymous said...

hahahahaha! omg, thats awesome! keep updating this site, I have to check it regularly!

-Hanna

wovensunshine said...

A whole week without a P oddity. Did you or he go on vacation for a week? Surely, things couldn't have been that, dare I say, normal?

Rach said...

This website is "the slam"

Anonymous said...

Thanks M! That is hilarious! Keep the stories coming! =D

David said...

Love it. But do you suppose that perhaps P has outsmarted even you, that he may have his own blog about how he acts crazy with his roommate and then writes about the response he gets?

That would be THE SLAM.

Macy said...

love the Monty Python and the Holy Grail reference in the title :) great movie!

I just found your blog on www.1-am-bored.com and i can say that I havent laughed this much in ages!
In high school I had a friend like this once, but she was a girl, Chelsey. I swear, her IQ had to be like 2.

The scene was a pizza parlour witha big group of friends:

Chelsey: I bet you guys don't know my IQ! I took a test a couple weeks ago and found out.
Me: Okay, go ahead and tell us your IQ. Obviously we couldn't guess.
Chelsey: *proudly* 84!!
-The Group-: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Chelsey: what?? you don't believe me? I swear, thats almost 100, so I'm smart!!
Me: No no, we believe you.
My brother: Dude, Chelsey, 84 is considered retarded. I'm 137 which is almost genius level.
Chelsey: Did I say 84?? I meant 184!!
Me: Okay Chelsey, we believe you..


That was about 5 years ago. A couple weeks ago I got a call from her-- I occasionally like the call from her, just to get a laugh. Here's a tidbit of hte recent convo.

Chelsey: Oh em gee, guess what?
Me: What??
Chelsey: My IQ points went up.
Me: Really. Okay. How much further than 84??
Chelsey: 84? Puh-leeze! I'm not stupid. It's 1,834 now!
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Anonymous said...

please, please, pleeeeeaaaease dont ever move out or let him leave. This is far too amusing to see it end.

jane doe said...

Must be all the weed effing up his brain. Weed tends to make ppl paranoid, right?

heather said...

I just found this blog, and this is the post that really twisted my brain around. Wow. He truly is insane.