Tuesday, June 26, 2007

So effing frustrating

The post refers to the bike referenced in The Bike Incident

P: Can I buy your bike?
Me: For how much?
P: How much did it cost?
Me: $2700.
P: What?!
Me: It's a nice bike. It got me to school and work every day for like 2 years, I wanted a good one.
P: Ok, how much do you want?
Me: What do you think is fair?
P: Well, it was in an accident.
Me: Holy crap, dude. YOU were the one that crashed it!
P: Still, it was crashed, it's not new.
Me: So you're saying I should expect less money from you because it was in an accident that you caused?
P: Why do you make everything I say sound stupid?
Me: All I'm doing is summarizing what you said, if you think it's dumb...
P: Fine, how about $300.
Me: Dude, $300 for a $2700 bike?
P: Well, it was in an accident.
Me: Oh my God, P, you're going to make me shoot myself in the face.
P: Fine $1200.
Me: Ok, that sounds like a deal.
P: Ok.

::: Next Day :::

P: Listen, I can't be held responsible for this bike.
Me: What, your new bike?
P: Yeah, I don't want it.
Me: Honestly, P. You're killing me here.
P: Ok, good, so it's your bike, cause I don't want it.
Me: If you didn't want it, why did you ask if you could.....nevermind. Yes, P, it's still my bike.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Return of P

The following took place at about 4am...

* thump * .... * THUMP * THUMP * THUMP! *
P: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
Me: P?
P: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
* THUMP * THUMP * THUMP *
Me: P! HEY! YOU OK!
P: I'M OK! I'M * THUMP * THUMP * OK!
Me: What the hell is going on?
P: I'm ok! My shield fell down.
Me: Your "shield"?!
P: I built a shield to keep the bad guys out, it's ok, it just fell on me.
Me: You have got to be f&*%ing kidding me. I'm going back to sleep.

The shield consisted of several layers of blankets and cardboard propped up over the windows to "keep out the bad guys". Unfortunately, our friend P is not a master craftsman and the integrity of the shield was compromised due to the overpowering force of P's nighttime pocket fan. My fingers are crossed for shield version 2, and hopefully, I will be able to post pictures of a complex system of levers and pulleys.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

He's Back!

Our friend P has returned from his jaunt to Canadia, and as if trying to say "I missed you, M" in his own special way...

P: Did you buy something new?
Me: I dunno. Like what?
P: You smell different. Like cologne or something?
Me: Ummm...no.....Do I smell like "gym"?
P: Maybe. It smells good. You have a nice musk.
Me: Wow. That's creepy, dude.

Clarification

From the Yahoo directory listing at http://dir.yahoo.com/Entertainment/Humor/Blogs/

  • My Crazy Roommate [new]
    A woman blogs about her totally insane roommate.
    www.mycrazyroommate.com

  • I am sooo not a woman, wtf? I don't think I have the words to accurately paint the picture of the "Are you serious" expression that is on my face, so I will do so with this picture of Arnold Drummond.


    -M

    Monday, June 11, 2007

    If she weighs the same as a duck...

    As requested by anon, the witchcraft incident...

    C: When is his birthday?
    Me: Late February, why?
    C: I'm gonna try something...

    P: Hi! I'm P!
    C: Nice to meet you.
    P: So you guys know about aliens, right?
    C: Aliens?
    P: Yes!
    C: Ok...did you recently have a change in your life?
    P: YES!
    C: You're a Pisces, aren't you?
    P: HOLY SH**! YOU'RE A WITCH!
    C: No, it's a gift.
    P: WITCHCRAFT!
    C: Wait..calm down, I was kidding, M told me...
    P: JESUS!
    Me: Dude. Dude! Calm down, she's not a witch, it was a joke...
    P: M! I learned about people like her. She can do witchcraft. Be careful!!
    Me: * sigh * See I told you.
    C: Wow. I thought you were exaggerating.

    Monday, June 4, 2007

    Puss in boots ain't got $hit on me

    P: How long would it take to drive to Canada from here?
    Me: I dunno, maybe 2 days.
    P: AAAHHH! DON'T DO THAT!
    Me: What! What did I do?
    P: Look at me like that, you're freaking me out!
    Me: What?
    P: With the big eyes. STOP IT!
    Me: What? Did I raise my eyebrows or something? I was guessing, it was a reflex.
    P: STOP LOOKING AT ME!
    Me: DUDE! I make eye contact with people I'm talking to, sorry.
    P: But your eyes are so big!
    Me: HAHAHAH Sorry. I won't look at you.
    P: You must have been a beautiful baby boy with those big blue eyes.
    Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

    Saturday, June 2, 2007

    I guess I'm going to hell, but it's so easy...

    P: I have to go back to Canada.
    Me: You mean Canadia?
    P: No, it's called Canada.
    Me: Aren't you Canadian?
    P: Yeah.
    Me: I'm American, that means I'm from America. You're Canadian, doesn't that mean you're from Canadia?
    P: Oh....well, maybe.
    Me: Yeah, that's what I thought, you better get your facts straight.
    P: Shit.
    Me: Yeah, good luck getting back, you don't even know what country you're from.

    If you're friends with P, well then you're friends with me

    I have to admit, I've just been waiting to use that tag line. I'm a media whore, so what? Well, anyways, apparently the blog is quite popular amongst those who know the P and here's a submission from a mutual acquaintance.

    J, S and M2 sitting in a room....

    P: Is it true that a yeast infection smells like brussel sprouts?
    J: WHAT?!
    P: Brussel sprouts, I have no experience.
    S: Umm....Yeah, exactly like that.
    J: I mean, yeah, you didn't know that?
    P: Ok. So those are the long green things with the stuff at the end?
    M2: No, that's asparagus, they're like small round things with a bunch of leaves.
    P: OH! Miniature cabbage!
    J: Yeah, they look like that.
    P: No, that's what it's actually called.
    M2: No, it's brussel sprouts.
    P: Umm, no, in Canada we call it the real name, miniature cabbage.
    M2: You serious? You're fucking with us.
    P: No. If you guys don't know it's not my fault.
    J: So if I go to Canada and ask for "miniature cabbage" I'll get that?
    P: Well, umm......you don't know anything!!!!
    * storms out of the room *
    J: Wow. I'm writing that one down.