Saturday, May 26, 2007

Unbreakable

P, being a true believer of the aliens, conspiracies, etc, ensures that one of the constants at our humble home is Unsolved Mysteries. Yes, all of the re-runs on Lifetime for Women from the 1980's are recorded diligently, watched, and studied. The subject of tonight's episode / lesson was "Diabolical Minds". This included the black widow; in this case, a woman who poisoned her victims for cash money...

P: That's BULLSHIT!!
Me: What is?
P: You don't have to die, he's WEAK!
Me: She poisoned him.
P: It only worked cause he's depressed! If someone poisoned me, I'd be fine. My mind would take over!
Me: It's poison, you'd die.
P: No! I'm like Rasputin! I would know, and it wouldn't work, you have no idea.
Me: Do you even know how your body works?
P: I know how my mind works, and it's powerful, it can overpower poison.
Me: Poison shuts down your organs, you...nevermind.
P: I'm like Rasputin, you'll see when I don't die.
Me: Ok, dude, poison doesn't work on you.
( about 30 seconds of silence )
P: Do you think balloons go into space?
Me: What!? HAHAHAHAHAHHAAH

12 comments:

Anhoni Patel said...

"Do you think balloons go into space?" = WTF? What kind of segue is this??

Jenny said...

I ADORE your blog. Please don't stop writing it.

Might I possibly give you another idea if the TRON doesn't do enough?

If you record empty sound -- like leave the recorder on in an empty room and leave for the day -- the tape will invariably record random sounds and electronic artifact noise, etc., which when played back sounds to many people like whispers and murmurs. This hard-wired tendency of the brain to impose order on random noise has been well documented by scientists, and is obviously the reason that many people believe in EVP http://www.aaevp.com/ .

Were you to create such a tape and ask P what he believes he hears, I suspect his tendency toward the random might just produce some very interesting responses.

Just a thought.

Thanks for writing the blog.

kArAndom said...

I want one. Though I might want to upgrade to a model with an on/off switch. Maybe one with a wine/beer opener instead of a hand too...

kArAndom

Jessica said...

Unsolved Mysteries? With Robert Stack? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You slay me!

S.$$$ said...

the fact that he is adamant that 'he knows how his mind works' is the most hilarious part. What a kook! How could anyone know how his mind works!
PS: I still love your blog, we want more!

RockitQueen said...

This blog is brilliant. Thanks for sharing this madness with us. It's like post-graduate field work. When this is all over, the college of your choice will practically hand you your Ph.D.

hosta_gal said...

I started reading and I just couldn't stop - am wiping tears from my eyes right now.

I don't know how long you will be able to live with P, but I will be right here (reading about it) with you!

Peace.

Anonymous said...

Haha. This blog is brillent.

I'm a Psychiatric Nurse and he sounds like a Paranoid Schizophrenic. Classic.

Hanna said...

just today (the 10th june) i thought id have a break from exam revsion, i find this website, ive been reading it from the beginning and am crying of laughter! I want a room mate like P!!! please dont ever let him leave your appartment!

Anonymous said...

This is truly a hilarious blog, but I can't help but to worry about poor P, he shows signs of being a Schizophrenic, or having some kind of mental disease.

Anonymous said...

This sounds like something me and my best friend would talk about.

I think you should initiate a pillow fight with your roommmate, just to see if he'd wig out.

atomica said...

seems like he reads a lot but his choices of book were wrong..or he chooses to imprinted wrong scripts onto his brain anyway.

does he listen to musics? what kind?

i can see being his roommate is fun!