Monday, April 16, 2007

The Pick up Artist

I needed a little entertainment for the night, so a bar hopping I was to go. It was suggested that I take P along. Why not? Hijinks were surely to ensue. We arrived, we sat, we drank, and sure enough, groups of females began to arrive. One particular group of three was within 10 feet of us for about 30 seconds before P was beside himself.

P: I'm gonna go talk to them.
Me: Go!
P: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Me: .......k
P: OH! I got it!

P: Hey, so, ummmmm.....you girls decided to go out tonight?
G: Uh, yeah.
P: I'm Canadian. Someday I want to go to Oregon cause that's where they filmed The Goonies.
G: Wow.

He's in! Magic! I have never seen anything like it. Soon, the "who'd you come with" brings me into the mix and we're all chatting away....Apparently, the crazy comes across as amusing and obviously harmless for the exact amount of time that is needed for me to be introduced, then attention shifts to the "sane" guy, yours truly. It's brilliant!! Anyways, P showed particular interest in one of the girls, and before I knew it she was asking me, "Where'd P go?"

Me: What? I dunno, maybe to go smoke or something...

10 minutes pass.....

G: Where's your friend?
Me: I dunno maybe he met some people....

10 more minutes pass....

TEXT FROM P: "I'm at home. I got scared."
TEXT FROM ME: "What? I'm still here talking to these girls"
TEXT FROM P: "I am interested in N. Can you get her number for me"
TEXT FROM ME: "I'll do my best"

Honestly, I couldn't make this up even if I tried.

11 comments:

Marty Party said...

This Blog was a topic of conversation during our FP(front porch)drinking night yesterday. I had never heard of you or P. And now, I am cracking up during each entry. But this one, leaving the girls cause he was scared is F'n priceless!!!! Love it! -Marty

~Little Bull~ said...

I live in Oregon...What is it about Canadians and their fascination with the Goonies?! haha...

Anonymous said...

great! I love it! What a freak!

rpm2004 said...

I know what it's like.

Crippling social anxiety FTW!

Zypher said...

OH MY GOD! LMFAO!
"TEXT FROM P: "I'm at home. I got scared.""

This is when I fell out of my chair. This is amazing.

Kaitlin said...

wow. This guy gives all us Canadians a bad name. No wonder Americans dislike us.

naqedchic said...

so, did you get N's number for him?

Anonymous said...

Can I get N's number, too? She sounds hot.

Sally said...

great post

jdotglenn said...

"What is it about Canadians and their fascination with the Goonies?!"

The Goonies owns, owns everything you know

Anonymous said...

Wow, so funny! P is somehow really endearing. I imagine you guys will be living together well into your eighties. He's fodder for this post and I know deep down that you love him.