Saturday, March 31, 2007

The Bike Incident

Me: What hapanned to you?
P: I fell down the stairs.
Me: We don't have stairs.
P: I fell down the stair in front.
Me: You look like you were hit by a bus. The "stair" out front is a 3 inch step.
P: I had hot dogs in my hand.
Me: What?
P: I tripped on my shoe and saved the hot dogs.
Me: Who does that?

Now, if this was anyone else in the world, I would've called bullsh*t right there. P being P though, "I tripped over my shadow" was believable....

The Next Day....
Person 1:
J: What happaned to you?
P: I crashed M's bike.

Person 2:
S: What did you do to your hand?
P: I crashed M's bike.

Brilliant liar this P....About 20 people later.....

P: So, ummmm......There's something wrong with your bike.
Me: Yeah, I know, it fell down a stair.
P: Yeah, so, thats fine, right?
Me: Nope. You took it without asking, crashed it, then lied about it. You buy it or fix it.
P: It's not my fault! I didnt' mean to crash.
Me: You're retarded. You have a week.
P: Nooo! The important thing is that I'm o.k.
Me: No, it's not. The important thing is that you owe me money or a fixed bike or your homeless.
P: I'll fix it, I'll fix it.
Me: I know, and you'll buy a lock for it too. I've been having problems with people taking it and crashing it.

Not always fun and games when dealing with a crazy person.


Anonymous said...

hahahahahaha. "im having problems with people taking my bike and crashing it"

Anonymous said...

your blog makes me laugh. please acquire more mentally unstable roommates!
- marie

Anonymous said...

my favorite -- "The important thing is that you owe me money or a fixed bike or your homeless"

Anonymous said...

I just discovered your blog like a week ago and now I live to read your new posts. But by far this one has to be my favorite! It's friggin' hilarious!

Anonymous said...

This is have to be making this stuff up. Nobody can truly be like that......right?

Anonymous said...

I think P's adorable. He's so eager to please you. He probably just wants you to love him.

jane doe said...

oh no, your poor bike! i know that there's a more recent post about him offering to buy it-- but did he ever fix the damages for u?

Anonymous said...

OMFG! This is too hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Haha, that poor guy. You're kinda mean to him.