The saga continues...

Sorry faithful P-natics, no conversing as of late. My relocation is complete, yet the essence of P continues to follow me. How M!? Explain this mysterious goings on that you speak of! Your narrator shall oblige. 

This site has generated a little bit of email here and there, and I do try to get to as much as possible. Mostly, these letters consist of well wishers of P and personal amusing roommate anecdotes. On occasion though, there is the crazy person who thinks that it's not creepy to say, "we should hang out, i can tell we would get along. please, be my friend." Yeah, probably not gonna happen.......until this week. 

"You're in Portland? I will tour you, and I am not crazy, I promise"

Now the recognition that the gesture could be construed as crazy, while making said gesture, intrigued me. "I know this looks crazy but it's not!" Curious. 

So I go hit up happy hour with this person...we'll call "Person", "P" - how poetic...

P:  "Hi!"

M: "Hey, nice to meet ya."

P: "Huh,"

M: "What?"

P: "I was kind of hoping you would be some kind of mutant."

M: "WHAT?"

P: "Like all bent over or couldn't talk or something like that."

      ( while saying this she has placed her arm over her head and leaned over to the side )

M: "Umm....Sorry to disappoint."

P: "It's ok. I was just really hoping you were a mutant."

M: "..."

And like that, we're off and running,,,

P: "You know those little kids that have that disease where they're all old?"

M: "Yeah."

P: "I want to adopt one of those kids, then make them think they're an alien."

M: "Oh.....my...."

P: "Or some other weird disease, but not one I could catch."

M: "Uh, yeah..."

P: "See! I told you I wasn't crazy!"

M: "You sure did!"

The End

It's surprising how many people have asked if I was murdered...P is harmless. However, he and I have gone our separate ways. I am off to Portland and he is, well, I don't think he even knows yet. Alas, I must let him go, if he returns, it was meant to be. M out.

-M

Really?

P: Do you know Arby's?

Me: Yeah, sandwiches.

P: Yeah, well, it's from R.B. like roast beef.

Me: I believe that.

P: Yeah, and IHOP is really International House of Pancakes.

Me: I knew that one. It's not like it's gonna mean something like "I hop". Not too many people hop out of...

P: Eyes!?

Me: HAHAHAHAHAH...No, pancake houses. But, awesome.

Clippy - Day 2

As clippy continues to bestow his knowledge and observations unto P, our subject seems to be adapting, or so I thought. It appears that P, much like with the Tron, prefers to bottle his frustrations until no more can be contained and a geyser of concentrated frustration, profanity, and much needed criticism is erupted onto all in the vicinity. Of course, if I'm not in the vicinity, I am quickly summoned.

P: M!
Me: What?
P: FOCK!
Me: WHAT, dude?
P: Get it off!
Me: What?
P: The paperclip! He won't shut up.
( to computer now ) SHUT UP!!!!
Me: The Office guy?
P: YES! He started saying stupid $h&* all the time!
Me: I think there was an update or something.
P: God dammit! I KNOW MY COMPUTER IS ON!!!

Clippy - Day 1

In the interest of science, I have decided that another experiment should befall our favorite unwitting subject, P. In traditional M manner, I have chosen to find the thresholds of annoyance. Of course, I would never do such a thing solely for my own amusement, this is for the betterment of mankind ( I don't know how yet, but I'm sure it has to be ).

Enter Clippy. Clippy is a Desktop program. It imitates that dumb paperclip guy that pops up and tells you to save your document or that by right clicking you can unravel a magical world of excting Office options. Clippy, however, is not as helpful and tends to just make observations such as;
"You appear to be connected to the internet"
"I see that you have been using your mouse"
"Your computer seems to be turned on"
"Background processing has rated your typing speed to be below normal"

As for our first day, Clippy has been set to pop up every minute, and so far has elicited such gems as "I F&%*ING KNOW! Why is this thing telling me this!" "I HATE YOU!!" and "I think he's out to get me"

Priceless. How long will this last? We shall see.

P.S. I found Clippy here;
http://www.rjlsoftware.com/software/entertainment/clippy/
Knock yourselves out.

Everywhere, like..such as....maps

P: M! Have you heard about the Bohemian Grove?
M: No, P. I haven't.
P: All the world leaders go there once a year and worship a giant owl.
M: Where is it?
P: It's in northern California.
M: Where in northern California?
P: Oregon.
M: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

I'm confused

P: M! So...I didn't change your last name in my phone.
Me: That makes sense, P. I haven't changed my last name.
P: Yeah.
Me: Why is that news? What else haven't you done?