Darth P

P: It's raining.
Me: Yeah, I know, that's why we're wet.
P: ( puts hood of sweatshirt up ) Look, I'm like Darth Vader.
Me: What? Cause of the hood?
P: Yeah.
Me: Dude. He was the only one that didn't have a hood, why'd you pick him?
P: Well...Star Wars...whatever. Everyone was wearing hoods back then.
Me: Back then? HAHHAHAHA Yeah, in the Empire, jedi cloaks were the new orange.

Clippy - Day 1

In the interest of science, I have decided that another experiment should befall our favorite unwitting subject, P. In traditional M manner, I have chosen to find the thresholds of annoyance. Of course, I would never do such a thing solely for my own amusement, this is for the betterment of mankind ( I don't know how yet, but I'm sure it has to be ).

Enter Clippy. Clippy is a Desktop program. It imitates that dumb paperclip guy that pops up and tells you to save your document or that by right clicking you can unravel a magical world of excting Office options. Clippy, however, is not as helpful and tends to just make observations such as;
"You appear to be connected to the internet"
"I see that you have been using your mouse"
"Your computer seems to be turned on"
"Background processing has rated your typing speed to be below normal"

As for our first day, Clippy has been set to pop up every minute, and so far has elicited such gems as "I F&%*ING KNOW! Why is this thing telling me this!" "I HATE YOU!!" and "I think he's out to get me"

Priceless. How long will this last? We shall see.

P.S. I found Clippy here;
http://www.rjlsoftware.com/software/entertainment/clippy/
Knock yourselves out.

Everywhere, like..such as....maps

P: M! Have you heard about the Bohemian Grove?
M: No, P. I haven't.
P: All the world leaders go there once a year and worship a giant owl.
M: Where is it?
P: It's in northern California.
M: Where in northern California?
P: Oregon.
M: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

I'm confused

P: M! So...I didn't change your last name in my phone.
Me: That makes sense, P. I haven't changed my last name.
P: Yeah.
Me: Why is that news? What else haven't you done?

What makes a P a P?

Ok, the humor of this one might be lost on others, but I have to post it because it is a perfect example of what makes him "P". There was no thinking involved, this was his reflex answer.

Me: So, P. If you had a dog what would you name it?
P: Gisseppe.
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. WHAT?!

Not Max, not Jake, not Buddy, Shadow, Lucky or Duke. Gisseppe. Awesome.

A Whole New World

P: I like your jacket.
Me: Thanks, dude.
P: Yeah, you can go to the movies with it.
Me: Wow. I never thought of that. I wonder what else I can do now. Thanks.
P: No problem.

Ok, ok, a P story

Ive decided that today's post is going to be themed. Phone calls, to be precise. Here are two phone calls I've received in the last couple of days that left me with a general feeling of "Did he really just call me for that?"

This one came in at about midnight on a school night.

Me: Hello?
P: M!
Me: P? You ok?
P: My car! The key is stuck in the ignition!
Me: Ummm, ok. Where are you?
P: At N's house.
Me: What? You're at a house?
P: I don't know what to do!
Me: Call AAA, dude.
P: Yeah, that's what N said to do.
Me: Dude! What do you think I can do that AAA can't?
P: Ummm, yeah, so I'll call them.
Me: Uh, yeah. Seriously, P.
P: BYE!

I was not the only person telling this tale of woe the next day, apparently the cell phone network was all a flutter with P's distress signals, the last of which went to AAA...

Phone call number two....

Me: Bueno.
P: M! It's P!
Me: What's up, P?
P: I can't connect to the internet!
Me: Oh, you at the office? Is it down?
P: No, I'm at home.
Me:...
P: What do I do?!
Me: Figure it out.
P: Listen, listen. M. I can't get to Google.
Me: Dude, just reset or something.
P: I CAN'T GET TO GOOGLE!
Me: I'm eating, P. You'll survive.
P: Fine. Fine. I guess I'll just figure it out or just have no internet.
Me: Martyr much?
P: What?
Me: Nothing, I'll talk to you later.